Quick: what’s your first reaction when you hear the word criticism? Do you brace yourself for feelings of failure and put up a defensive wall? It’s hard to respond otherwise, but try to look at it differently. Criticism can be positive if we accept it with class and let it help us gain knowledge about ourselves.

When I was a new graduate nurse, the first team I was assigned to was dysfunctional. Although we were kind to our patients, that didn’t carry over to our interactions with each other: some nurses made snide remarks and spread unfounded gossip, creating a toxic work environment. The tipping point came when the organization decided to change the oncology unit. The work environment didn’t promote innovation or encourage the staff to collaborate so the unit couldn’t handle the changes and eventually closed.

Five years ago, I was consulted, as a mental health clinical nurse specialist, by a nurse manager seeking assistance in determining an appropriate response to a bullying situation on one of her units. That was the first time I learned that our profession has a longstanding and significant problem with incivility and bullying from within. 

Nurses spend an average of 2.5 hours per day on drama per staff person, according to Cy Wakeman, the opening keynote speaker at the 2018 American Nurses Credentialing Center’s Magnet Conference in Denver, CO, in October. That’s right, take 2.5 and multiply it by how many staff are working that day. 

Some lines are more memorable than others. In the Broadway musical Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton challenges Aaron Burr with this statement: “If you stand for nothin’, Burr, what will you fall for?”

I have stolen that line when teaching nurses about bullying and incivility in our workplaces. Unfortunately, this is a topic that we still need to talk about.

Healthcare workers, especially nurses, are less likely to report incidents of workplace violence, including verbal abuse from patients, families, and coworkers, according to a sentinel event alert the Joint Commission released in April.

Nursing isn’t always just about treating illness. At times, patients are unruly, combative, and even downright dangerous to staff. Nurses are the ones standing front and center when an upset patient erupts, and it happens more often than the uninitiated public may think. A recent article in the Washington Post, catalogs some of the harrowing violence nurses have seen in the line of duty, dubbing it one of the most dangerous professions in the United States. Patients aren’t always the sole source of danger either—as illustrated by the recent assault of a Utah nurse, Alex Wubbels, by a Salt Lake City police detective.

Workplace incivility, sometimes called bullying, is a secret kept on nursing units. How we treat each other is sometimes not very nice, even when it is done with the thought of patient safety and compassion